Read, Run, Repeat

A tale of fitness, books, food, and life in between

This week has sucked. The end.

on January 18, 2013

Hello friends – I am still here — promise. It has been a very long, hard, and emotionally charged week. I don’t even feel the need to do the “obligatory” apology for disappearing, because I’ve been dealing with some stuff and done what I need to do for me. Something not-so-great happened last weekend. On sunday evening, my aunt passed away. 😦

I can’t say that it was a surprise or unexpected, really. Plans were being made for her to enter hospice care – but she just couldn’t make it home.  She has been very ill for quite some time — but does that really make death any easier? Anyway, the past week has been full of schedule disruptions, and funeral arrangements, and driving to the services 2 hours away (and then back that night), walking around in a fog with a grieving heart. So yeah, the week has sucked. I have forgotten just how much of a toll grieving can take on your body. I am absolutely exhausted and still feel like I can’t focus on anything. To be honest, I am most worried about my Mom. She did a lot of the caretaking of my Aunt, and was also there in the very end. It’s heartwrenching to not be able to do anything. It’s just another one of those things in life that takes time — you can’t push it along any faster. You can’t make it go away… all you can do is take one step at a time. I am so grateful for my family, and for P dropping everything to come and support me through everything thus far. He is a superstar , and I feel so lucky and like I don’t deserve him at all.

My aunt was pretty awesome. She did a lot of pretty cool things in her life – like live in Italy and France and California and NY – she also was a schoolteacher – so we had lots of conversations about kids and the school system. She’s also been at our house for many Christmases and New Years – so she’s been a pretty important part of my life. (this post is so totally haphazad – i’m sorry).  She is definitely going to be missed and her loss will be felt acutely. However, she may have continued to work her magic by bringing some family together that had been torn apart for quite some years. That would be just like her 🙂 And she’d be smiling down on all that has happened while she dances her way through the clouds!

I used to be fascinated by the concept of grieving – so much, that I wanted to become a certified grief counseler. Mostly because I think it is overlooked as something that is part of life and you just “get over it” and there’s nothing that anyone can do — or they don’t know what to do. I’ve always felt that losing someone and or something, whether it be a family member, a job, or a marriage, is a very poignant moment (or moments) in someone’s life. Moments that need to be talked through and supported and experienced. Maybe this will kickstart my interest again. sometime in the future anyway. right now everything is too real. and too soon.

So, that’s where I’m at and where I’ve been – if you’ve stuck reading through this post, thanks! I’m not sure that it’s made a whole lot of sense, and I feel like things have veering toward negativity the last few weeks. But I guess that’s life, right? Hopefully we will be back to “regularly scheduled programming” soon — I am so, so , SO excited to share some news with you all soon about an upcoming challenge/healthy movement 😉


2 responses to “This week has sucked. The end.

  1. ugh I am really sorry girl. It is tough to see family members who we are close to suffer but I think you are doing all you can do. I know it is hard to hear, she is in my prayers!

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