Read, Run, Repeat

A tale of fitness, books, food, and life in between

But What Comes Next?!?!

on October 25, 2012

I have realized lately, that I am not the most patient person in the world. Particularly when it comes to my own life … I’m not sure how I feel about that, as having patience used to be a characteristic that I prided myself on. Apparently I suck at delaying gratification lately? Some examples that I’ve noticed recently:

  • when I want something, I usually will go right out and buy it — and I also impulse buy (although, shopping makes me happy)
  • I have road rage – usually when someone is in my way
  • I am constantly thinking about the future
  • I want to run like other bloggers too, so I’m constantly pushing myself
  • I get annoyed when I can’t see results from my workouts/weigh-ins on Friday!

I have been working extra hard this week on “Staying in the moment” and being present — I really started to seriously think about this after reading/watching Erica’s first vlog!!! I have made numerous comments on other blogs about how I really want to be able to stay in the present moment. I have a very difficult time sitting still and not doing anything – I like to be busy, but I also feel guilty when I am not doing anything and start thinking about all the things that I need to be doing!! This creates a great deal of anxiety for me! Plus, I find myself also getting irritated when I don’t have any “down time” too! It’s a viscious cycle. I am always thinking “What comes next?”

One of the biggest things I tend to obsess over is the fact that P and I have been together for over 4 years and yet, there is no engagement ring on my finger. I’m a girl, and I can’t help it!  I’m also 30 and thinking about other life goals I have – like becoming a Mom. (juicy tidbit alert- I have already been married and divorced — which creates a whole lot of other anxiety and baggage). That’s not to say that we haven’t talked about marriage and our future together – we have, alot. We own our house and our dog and are very happy together…. I know that P is the right person for me and he makes me unbelievably happy!!

Anyway, I find myself not feeling very happy a lot of the time – and I don’t think it’s because I’m not. I think I’m too busy worrying about what I SHOULD/COULD be doing or what comes next for me…. I also have a tendency to be a negative thinker and can turn small things into a mountain! So, I have been working on being very mindful over the last week. Let me tell you — that takes a lot of conscious effort at this point!! I have to do a lot of “thought stopping”  and then “force” myself to only think about what I’m doing at that moment, what I’m feeling, noticing all five of my senses and just trying to remember to be “right here, right now.” 

Honestly, I’m really enjoying it … even though it’s hard work and takes brain power 🙂 I feel like it’s helping me to be present and to enjoy moments instead of constantly pushing on to the next one! I don’t do this every second of the day – I think that would be impossible!! I’m always going to be a planner, I hate procrastinating,and I do like to be busy and organized – those things are all part of me and who I am.  And that’s okay. But it’s also important to not just rush on to the next “thing” without appreciating everything that is happening right NOW.

couldn’t have said it better myself!

I’ve also started taking daily data on myself (again, thanks to Miss Erica!!) – I’m a behaviorist at heart and appreciate data – I also think it will be interesting to see what I find out about myself … I am keeping track of my food, workouts, water intake, mood, and “other” – which is just things that may have happened that day that I want to note to myself 🙂 I’m hoping that I can continue to remember to record it all!!

My first day of data…

I challenge you to practice being present today – in just one moment 🙂 And then tell me about it!

 

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7 responses to “But What Comes Next?!?!

  1. i struggle with patience as well but i think patience and the comparison trap can be a deadly combo. make sure you never take yourself for granted because heck, you are one cool girl that doesn’t need to be like anyone else.

  2. I was really not present today at all (and I fully admit that). I have been at a conference all day and I was just thinking that about how when is this going to be over…when can I work out…ect. BLERG.

  3. This is something I totally need to work on! I’m a huge planner and love checking things off my list if “to-do’s” but sometimes miss enjoying the moment. Thanks for the reminder! 🙂

  4. “I think I’m too busy worrying about what I SHOULD/COULD be doing or what comes next for me”

    This is totally me. I’m actually quite happy right now…but my happiness has me worried! It’s like I have something to lose now and I’m fighting tooth-and-nail to keep it. My poor husband :-/

    I like this data idea! I’m a numbers gal and I love tracking things. I may try my own experiment. Let us know how yours goes!

  5. kitkat1126 says:

    I am not patient at all, and I also struggle with being present in the moment and not thinking/stressing/planning/questioning the future. I swear, when you do actually live in the moment, things do fall into place, and it’s such a freeing feeling!

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